Sleepless on Seroquel

This is too true: taking Seroquel and still being an insomniac is horrendous.

My 100 mg dose (very low, but I’m extraordinarily sensitive to meds) knocks me out within half an hour of ingesting it, and I have a good solid eight hours.

The severe depression started coming on strong in February so my doctor put me on Celexa, which then kept me up all night. The groggy, staggering-drunk effect of the Seroquel was still operating, but I couldn’t sleep. A very special kind of hell.

So I stopped taking the Celexa. I also didn’t appreciate the anorgasmia.

My life. It’s a living hell.

So now, in the morning, I take: .5 mg of Klonopin; 300 mg of Wellbutrin XL; a multi-vitamin; and a B12 supplement. In the afternoon I take another .5 mg of Klonopin. In the evening, around 8pm, I take 50 mg of Seroquel, and then, an hour or two later, 100mg.

This was going along okay. But I’m realizing that it was okay because my life circumstances weren’t that bad. Now I have less than no money; no job; a recurrence of the physical pain and numbness on the right side of my body, which I’ve complained about for years without any doctor being able to tell me what’s wrong; and no real support network to help me through trying times.

The doc gave me a scrip for a beta blocker to get me through today’s volunteer interpreting gig (the less said about that, the better), and Monday’s interview with Company X.

Things have been getting worse, yesterday and today. That switch has been flipped and my head is full of thoughts of suicide. Both the thinking of reasons why it would be a good thing to do, and the grisly mental images of my skull shattered into a million pieces.

What can I do about this? Over the course of my life, over 22 years of horrible depression, I’ve tried many things: drugs, hospitalization, talking to friends, talking to spouse, calling a suicide hotline…and they all just make things worse. There’s nothing worse than having that tiny little spark of hope extinguished when you realize that no one can do a damn thing for you, and you’re trapped in hell.

Weird side-effect

I have a weird side-effect from the Seroquel: about 45 minutes after I take it, I get super drowsy, I can’t focus, and my motor skills decline rapidly. None of those are the side effect I’m talking about. No, the weird thing is that I suddenly get incredibly winded and can’t breathe, like I’ve just run around the block ten times.

200mg

I’ve been on 200 mg of Seroquel for two days now. I’ve slept about 9 or 10 hours both those nights. So, not too bad.

Drugs I have (not) loved

Cymbalta
Amitryptilene
Imipramine
Desipramine
Trazodone
Prozac
Paxil
Effexor
Remeron
Lexapro
Wellbutrin
Risperdal
Seroquel
Ambien
Ativan
Klonopin
Buspar

Feelin’ all right / Not feelin’ too good myself.

I’ve adjusted to 100mg finally. I sleep for nine hours without waking up in the middle of the night.

Certain things have been okay lately and as a result, I actually felt good Tuesday, Wednesday, and today.

But in the back of my mind is the vague terror. I’ve slipped into hoping for a few things, but given my track record with, well, everything, I’m not likely to get these things that I’m hoping for. And the disappointment will crush me.

God, just typing that took several points off my mood.

Better

I’ve finally acclimatized to 100mg of Seroquel. The last two days I’ve taken it at 10 pm, fallen asleep at 11 pm, and slept solidly through the night, waking up at 9 am.

Now on to 150mg.

Seroquel

What’s up with Seroquel?

I was on 50 mg for a week, and at first it was really good at making me sleep. Within an hour of taking it I’d feel super-drowsy; then I would slip into oblivion and stay there the whole night through.

After about a week of this it sort of stopped working. I was still really drowsy after taking the pill, but I could not fall asleep, and then I’d wake up for half an hour or so in the very early morning. So the doctor doubled the dosage. Once again, I was able to sleep…and how. Thirteen, fourteen hours a night, followed by a few hours of kinda-out-of-it upon awakening.

Well, last night all of a sudden it stopped working again. It took me at least two and a half hours to fall asleep despite the extreme drowsiness that feels like it’s dragging me under; then I woke up at 4:30 am and haven’t been able to get back to sleep. I imagine the doctor will up the dose to 150 mg and then later to 200 mg, which is where I’m supposed to be…but will it just keep suddenly pooping out on me?